Today’s teens are under an immense amount of pressure—pressure to get into the best colleges, to be the best at their sport, to build a resume stacked with extracurriculars—all while navigating the complicated, messy, and emotional stage of adolescence. While the teen years are a time of growth, resilience, and self-discovery, they can also be overwhelming. As a parent or caregiver, you may often wonder: Am I doing enough for my kid’s mental health? Am I saying the right things? How can I really help?
The good news? You don’t need to be an expert to support your teen. Small, intentional actions can make a big difference. Here’s how:
Model Healthy Coping Skills
Teens learn how to handle stress by watching the adults around them. If you react to challenges with frustration or avoidance, they’ll pick up on that. Instead, try:
- Practicing self-care and talking about it openly: “I had a tough day, so I’m going for a walk to clear my head.”
- Showing healthy emotional regulation: “I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths before we talk about this.”
- Using problem-solving language: “This is frustrating, but let’s break it down and figure out our next steps.”
Encourage a Variety of Coping Strategies
Not every coping strategy works for every person, so encourage exploration.
- Help them identify what works: Experiment with creative outlets, physical activity, journaling, or mindfulness.
- Create a ‘calm-down’ plan: If your teen gets overwhelmed, what’s their go-to strategy? Having a plan in place can help them feel prepared for stressful moments.
- Normalize struggles: Say things like, “It’s okay to feel anxious before a big test. What’s one small thing we can do to help you feel more prepared?”
Connect Through Shared Activities
Any parent who has received the one-word answer (and dreaded eyeroll) from their teen knows that the best way to get them to open up isn’t by asking a lot of questions. Instead, try spending time together in a low-pressure way:
- Cooking a meal together
- Watching their favorite TV show or playing their favorite video game
- Going for a drive or walk (conversations often flow more easily side-by-side)
- Taking up a hobby together (gardening, pottery, photography)
Listen Without Trying to ‘Fix’ Everything
Teens need a safe space to vent without immediately being told what to do. Instead of jumping to solutions:
- Validate their feelings: That sounds really tough—I can see why you’re upset.”
- Ask open-ended questions: “What do you think would help in this situation?”
- Resist the urge to problem-solve immediately: “Do you want advice, or do you just need to talk it out?”
Let Them Make (and Learn From) Mistakes
Mistakes are part of growth, but they can be hard to watch as a parent. Instead of stepping in to prevent failure, guide them through it:
- Natural Consequences: If they forget their homework, let them deal with the late grade rather than rushing it to school.
- Reflective Conversations: After a challenge, ask, “What do you think you’d do differently next time?”
- Support, Not Rescue: “I’m here to help you figure this out if you need me.”
Redefine Success Together
Teens are often pressured to achieve in a way that may not align with their personal strengths or values. This can have negative consequences on their mental health. Have open discussions about:
- What they want for their future (rather than just what’s expected of them)
- How to balance achievement with well-being
- The importance of effort and growth over perfection
Show Unconditional Love and Support
Even when they’re moody, withdrawn, or pushing boundaries, teens need to know they are loved and valued. Make it clear that:
- Your love is not based on their achievements
- They can talk to you about anything—without fear of punishment or shame
- You’re always in their corner, even when they make mistakes
Know When to Seek Professional Help
Some challenges require more than parental support. If you notice persistent changes in mood, behavior, or daily functioning, consider reaching out to a professional. Warning signs include:
- Withdrawing from friends and family
- Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities
- Changes in eating or sleeping habits
- Expressions of hopelessness or self-harm
You don’t have to have all the answers when it comes to your teen’s mental health. Sometimes, the most supportive thing you can do is help your teen find the right resources. If you’re unsure where to start, Greater MetroWest Mental Health Resources can connect you with expert support.