“But I’m not a caregiver” was my first thought. “I am not eligible to attend Ingredients of Caregiving, a program to be hosted by Jewish Federation of Greater MetroWest NJ, Jewish Family Service of MetroWest NJ, and Jewish Family Service of Central NJ.”
My understanding then was that caregivers are professionals or people who have family members living in their homes who need assistance. My 95-year-old mother is in an assisted living facility 12 minutes from my house. I take her to doctors’ appointments, visit her daily, handle her bills, and ensure she has everything she needs; but caregiving is not my profession. Yet the program looked interesting. So, I called Marian Marlowe, Federation’s Director of Local Partnerships, who said, “Of course you are a caregiver.” Her response changed my understanding of where I am and my role.
To drive the point home, I arrived at the program ten minutes late because I was with my mother, helping to straighten out matters relating to her care.
Ingredients of Caregiving was wonderful as 12 individuals who are involved in providing, coordinating, supervising, and overseeing the care of a loved one in need of assistance participated in an informal get-together. We were given a gift – a chance to bake, learn, and eat together. We began as strangers and ended as friends – a diverse collection of people in our community who share the rewards, angst, and difficulty of helping family.
We learned about the wealth of resources available to and for us as caregivers from the two Jewish Family Service agencies. They both assist in helping caregivers understand our options regarding in-home care or outside facilities, assessing the merits of our options, providing counseling for us as caregivers, facilitating respite for caregivers, and connecting us with options and resources for financial assistance when necessary.
Our community net is wide and deep. Federation and its partner agencies understand, recognize, and assist us in dealing with the stresses in our lives.
Many of us think of ourselves as donors. But at various times in our lives, all of us need help and support. Our Federation and its many local partner agencies are there for us, in so many ways. We are a community, a family. That night I felt community-strong and community-supported. I am not alone. I have friends in my shoes – and support when I need it, even if I don’t always recognize it. This was a powerful evening of recognition, learning, and connection.